I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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