I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
All the doctor said was why
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
