I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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