The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry about my life...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
