when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
