We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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