i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
