Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
