By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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