is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
