I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
