just tell him i said nine months
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
