So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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