dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it hurts more in the daytime
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
