I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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