Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
