Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's not cheating when I paid for it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
