I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
