yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
