Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
