And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize