haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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