Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize