Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize