Banned from zoo.
Again?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There are leaves in my underwear?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
