I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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