Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
