Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize