make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize