just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
