the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
