well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
