Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
