u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize