I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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