but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
