it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
