remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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