what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
