i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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