What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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