Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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