yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
