your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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