and you said cock pushups were impossible
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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