Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
