and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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