hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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