Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
