69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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