I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
