i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
