I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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