Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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