my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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