Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
