At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize