I think I died a long time ago.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
