She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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