I got chris browned last night
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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