Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
