i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
