Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
