I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
