I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
