I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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