He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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