Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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