Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
