I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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